As the day approaches, I am always so in awe of how I became a mother. It is not at all the way I thought it would happen. I KNEW my whole life that I wanted to be a mother. As the time ticked away, waiting for my man to come along, I just dreamed of motherhood along with wifehood, (is that a word?). Interestingly enough, when Charley and I were e-mailing each other "back in the day" (LONG STORY OF HOW WE MET AND MARRIED!!), we talked about wanting to adopt along with having birth children. But God already knew. He was preparing our hearts for something bigger and different than what we had imagined. Gathering paperwork, documents, documents, documents, waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting some more. When that little boy was put into my arms, it was the most amazing feeling. Joshua asks me, "Why did you cry when you got me in China?" I just tell him that my heart was so full it overflowed through my eyes!! The depth of what I feel as Joshua's mother is amazing. I obviously do not have a way to compare it to a birth child, but most of my mom friends describe the same feelings that I have for this precious gift that is Joshua!!
The other thing that I think of as Mother's Day approaches is the one who was brave enough to let him go. I know nothing of her save that she must have been unable to care for him and his needs at that time. I pray for this woman. I am so thankful that God has chosen me to be the one to mother this child of His. I pray that somehow, some way, she may know the peace of a Savior who can hold HER in His arms when she misses the little one that she had to let go! I cannot imagine in any way, how she feels. She held him first, she kissed his little face and there is no doubt in my mind that she loved him too!! We will never know the 'whys' in this lifetime, but we do know that God knows and He cares!!
So on this Mother's Day, I thank my Heavenly Father for choosing me to continue, here in America, what began in China!! God is good all the time, even when we do not understand the difficult choices, for we can glimpse just a tiny bit of the good He has for us through those difficulties!!
Motherhood, an amazingly wonderful journey that I am honored to be on!!
